As of this post we are in 2020.
2019 was a crazy fulfilling year of self discovery. In fact this entire decade was a journey of self discovery.
As I look back over the last decade, I hard to believe how this past decade really shaped my creative career. Learning to better love myself & my creative process; to not allow outside expectations to lead me to paths that I shouldn’t have gone down.
At times I was glad that I took that leap. To take a chance and get outside of my comfort zone.
Other times, I doubted whether I made the right decision and failed.
But as the clock gets closer to close this decade out, I have to say I did accomplish something that everyone doubted that I would achieve back in 2009.
I am making a healthy living as a professional artist!
Through the good times and the bad times, I can officially say that I am not starving artist. That I am good enough to work and make a healthy living being a creative.
so what now?
What do I want to achieve in 2020?
and the next decade?
What are the plans for 2020?
Now that I can say I make a healthy living as a professional artist, its definitely not the time to get comfy and rest on my laurels. I spent the last decade working, thriving, surviving ,being caught up on other people’s expectations and rediscovering who I am as a creative person.
I want to start to the new decade with having fun with creating again.
What would I create when there is no expectation?
What would I revisit to try to create for my own satisfaction and not worry whether it will make money or make me famous?
What would I create?
Here are some of the things I am going after this year.
creating a portfolio that represents me.
This one might need some additional explanation.
from 2009-2019, I was developing portfolios that were focus on landing me a job or potential freelance opportunity. Something that would put food on the table and a roof over my head.
Basically…..
Is this the kind of work your looking for? Awesome hire me please for the love of god hire me!!!!
I never just create or expressed my opinions in a way that was truly myself.
I kept stressing (again other people’s expectations) that if I say the wrong thing or create something that was not in line with my career goals then I ruined my chance for being hired.
Its wasn’t until 2019 that I decided to create for myself.
I started off with writing and drawing my comic Molly’s Follies: Curse of the Skin Walker.
To be able to tell a story that I would want to read and not fret whether or not it takes off.
A story that I wanted to read.
1.Level up my art.
While the last part of the decade I have found a style that I love and enjoy, I did find myself caught in that style for everything. Mostly because every other drawing I did was for the comic.
I want to branch out.
Try different styles.
Even try to revive old projects that succumbed to the perfectionist insecurities I had.
I am more confident in my own abilities now that I am not chasing jobs or trying to impress anyone anymore. I want to just see what I can do now.
which brings me back to.
2. YOUTUBE
If you want a clear example of perfectionist insecurities, my YouTube Channel is it.
Top worries that caused me to stop creating (not in particular order) videos.
I looked fat on camera (will talk more about this in a future post).
Messing up on words. Being stiff on camera.
My videos were boring.
I wasn’t sounding like an expert.
Not getting enough views.
the algorithm.
Following the same trends as everyone else because again EXPECTATIONS!
Not having cool camera moves or interesting editing tricks.
No cool painted mural on my wall cause I rent an apartment.
Not a real solid reason to make YouTube videos other than to prove that I am an expert.
On and off.
On and off.
I was trying to be the next “insert famous YouTuber” instead of the first me.
Wasn’t until I join up with no small creators Facebook group that I learned what I was good at, what I loved and frankly what I hated.
After taking a hiatus from posting videos, I finally have a better understanding of the type of videos and message I want to share.
Type of videos for 2020.
documenting creating a portfolio that represents me.
Revitalizing lost art projects that succumbed to perfectionist insecurities. Talking about why it failed and how I am planning to revitalizing it.
Animation Artist react to good/ bad Animation.
Podcast & Live stream
3. The Sketchbook traveler : Podcast | Live Stream | Blog
One big dream ambition of mine is to travel the world and fill a sketchbook with images of what I felt saw and experience.
While currently its been hard to travel this beautiful world, the one true beauty of drawing in a sketchbook is that I can create world that I can travel to. Sketchbooks have always been a place to explore a creative’s journey to discovery.
I want to share that creative journey through doing a live stream podcast and of course this blog!
In a past tweet I wrote:
My social media philosophy: be the cheerleader for those who have big dreams but are searching for courage to pursue them.
— Chris Jaser Art (@ChrisJaserArt) October 30, 2019
That statement has resonated with me ever since. Outside of social media and on I want to encourage those who have big dreams to pursue them. I recognize that I might not be an expert of being a professional artists, but I can talk about the experience of getting to where I am now. To encourage and cheer on those who feel that they might not be ready to share what they create to the world.
I wish I had the courage to document the last decade’s journey.
but I allow perfectionist insecurities to consume my voice.
Now I want to start the new year, new decade right with the Sketchbook Traveler.
With a clear mind and better understanding of who I am, I am confident that 2020 is going to be a year of playful creativity.
And a decade filled with brand new adventures.
Happy New Year!
-Chris J.
Question for the reader:
What are your ambitions for 2020? Let me know down in the comments. Would love to know what you plan to do in 2020!